Just starting therapy and not sure what to expect? You’re not alone. For anyone new to mental health care, it can bring up a lot of questions: What happens in the first therapy session? What should I share? How long does it take to be healed?
DeAngela Cooks is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in the Bay Area, who specializes in supporting BIMPOC (Black, Indigenous, Mixed, People of Color) and Queer folx through life transitions. While she says that there isn’t a standardized training for providers on how to provide therapy, there are some things you can look for during your first session to get an early sense of what you can expect from your experience.
About the Intake Session
The first therapy session is typically an onboarding or intake meeting. Your therapist will ask some preliminary questions to get to know you. If you haven’t already, you may complete forms about your health history and current mental state. They’ll also cover practical information such as when you’ll meet and how payment works. This initial conversation builds trust and creates a plan for moving forward.
Here’s what a thorough intake session includes:
Check for immediate needs The therapist will ask questions about your safety and risk factors to make sure you receive any urgent support you may need.
Explain confidentiality They will clearly outline what information stays private and the limits of their confidentiality
Clarify the relationship Therapy is a partnership, not about fixing you. As DeAngela Cooks, LMFT, says, “I’m your therapist, and I’m here to support you. My job isn’t to give advice. It’s to lead you to your own answers.”
Ask about your background Your therapist will ask questions about your family, work, and personal challenges to create a fuller picture of your life experiences and context.
Signs You’ve Found the Right Therapist
It’s important to remember that progress in therapy takes time. Even so, there are a few early signs that your therapist gets you:
- You feel genuinely listened to and understood by your therapist
- Your therapist respects your boundaries and doesn’t rush you to share before you’re ready
- You have a clear sense that healing will happen at your own pace, without pressure
As Cooks shared, “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.” Therapy often surfaces difficult memories that have been suppressed. Facing those feelings can feel heavy, but it is a normal part of healing.
Finding a therapist who respects the full story of who you are makes all the difference. Therapy should be a space where all parts of your identity and experiences are welcomed.
